life lessons

"Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Corinthians 16:14 This is the verse I woke up to today, and it could not have been any more fitting for my life today. I have constantly been reminded since moving to the awesome Port Lavaca America, that I am a harsh person who is unapproachable, and apparently to my students the worst person they will ever meet. Well I am sorry that I expect more than mediocrity, and my intentions are to teach you how to live in the world I know it to be and have experienced, not just the insides of the P.L.. My first reaction is to fire back, to react, and for sure not out of love... But I'm learning. Last night the student I was feeling so attacked and wronged by, I wanted to get deported... (whole other story) but I got to thinking Jesus would not have her deported even if she is illegal, and costing $, He would love her and embrace her. I don't know that I am to a point where I can embrace her, or anyone else down here for that matter, but I can try to carry myself out of love. How this looks I am not really sure yet, but I realize that in my life I obviously don't show love... I show hardness. How does one go about changing that; I haven't the foggiest... but I have asked God to show me and guide me, now I just have to learn to see it when He does. Man oh Man why can't life lessons come easy?????

Seasons of life

The end of the school year has in my life always been a time of rejoice, a time of joy, and a sign of relaxation to come. This year while I am thankful for a break from the monotony of work soon, I find myself feeling very discontent with life and my situation. I feel very much as if I have don't nothing special, spectacular, or moving in short I've wasted a year. The summer is a time of joy and celebration as many friends enter into marriage, parenthood, and new beginnings. I am overjoyed to share in these times with my friends, however I can't help but feel unattached, discontent, and lonely with my own life. As a single girl in my mid 20's I am reaching a point where I wonder if this is where I will be for the rest of my life. Will I stay single, is my current job where i am destined to be until I retire, is this the life i have arranged for myself?
1 Corinthians 7 tells us:

34An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

I know from this that singleness is a blessing, a season in life that I am totally available to God with nothing else in my life more important. I have given my life to God and desire to do His will, yet I am not feeling direction to do anything different with my life from what I am except for the discontent in my own heart. I can't help but think this discontent comes from God, and yet I am not feeling direction towards anything else. Is this just a season as another year winds down where I question my worth and actions, or am I missing the point of my life? Am I doing what God wants, or am I allowing my head decide completely ignoring my heart thus blocking God. I am beginning to hate the change of seasons!

Sleep...

There are 3 basic needs a person needs to survive... Water, Food and sleep. Without sleep a person is susceptible to Type II Diabetes, decreased language processing, decreased memory, psychosis, Bi-polar disorder, heart disease, increase stress hormones=more stress, enhanced hypothalmic activity( body regulation, digestion, mood, energy usage) impaired ability to reaction/function, and obesity. I have struggled with insomnia (diagnosed with multiple sleep studies) my entire life. I mean I quit taking naps when I was 2... Who does that??? I was on sleeping pills through high school and college because not only can I not fall asleep, when I do fall asleep I wake up constantly. Now these sleeping wern't the addicting sleep aid business, oh nooooo more like the sedative that just induces a coma like state.. woo hoo Ask my friend Steph about the effects of my lovely sleeping pills!!! haha This year, with the decrease in stress due to not being in grad school AND working a full time job has helped some, and I have been sleeping more regularly with out my trusty sleeping pills, but here in the past month, I have been averaging if i'm lucky 4 hours of sleep a night... this week more like 2. i'm thinking it's coma time again... Just in time for summer woo hoo!!! At least I have a reason/cause for being fat now... haha

weekend festivities

This past weekend was a wonderful, exciting reconnection with friends to witness an act that a few of us wondered if it would ever happen. My best guy friend got married this weekend. Ty and I have been through so much, dealt with so much, fought though so much, enjoyed great times, created crazy stories... and this weekend he topped all of it by getting married! I love his new wife, she is so perfect for him, able to put up with his crap, tell him "no really your wrong" and love him despite himself. He has had a knack for picking the psycho girls... to a point a mutual friend "inappropriate Andy" nicknamed them all and promptly forgot their real names... Love it! Miranda is an amazing woman who is so beautiful, so thoughtful, and so caring there is not much to dislike. The weekend was filled with reminiscing, meeting friends I have heard so much about, and of course the wedding itself.
Now me being me, I couldn't be in Dallas without seeing everyone else I know, doing some major shopping, and enjoying for great food (to which I am now on a diet forever) so here's a list:

Friday: Drive alllllll Day, go to Julie's work and visit and get her key ( I stayed with her all weekend)
Friday afternoon: after unloading my car, I hit some shopping. Galleria, Steinmart, 1/2 price books
Friday evening: Rehersal Dinner at Love and War in TX (grapevine) filled with very memorial toasts... Yay for Andy!, a wonderful video, great wine

Saturday morning: sleep in! Yay for sleep
Saturday mid morning: more shopping (Target, the mall again)
Saturday afternoon: stressing about getting ready
Saturday evening: Wedding (pictures to come)
Saturday late: after party at Glass Cactus Gaylord followed by Steak and Shake (my first time ever)
Sunday: Proctor state test way too early in the morning
Sunday afternoon: Lunch at BJ's yummy! with Jena and Jane and their boys
Sunday evening: Wine and TV with Julie
Monday morning: take dress back to Nordstroms b/c it broke at the Wedding after party
Monday rest of day: Driving home Yuck!

Whew whirlwind of activities and I loved ever min of it. Poor Pixie on the other hand... See Julie has this cat names Kerkyn... He is the Devil! He hissed at us and was stalking Pixie around the entire condo when we got there... Pixie kept running behind me to protect her (aww how cute!) Finally she had enough and started going off on him in pure Chihuahua fashion. We didn't see much from him after that... he poked his head out from under the bed and she would go off... great stuff! Monday morning however they were in standoff mode.. neither vocalizing a thing.. just staring intently...

Uggh

Seriously... Happy day/Sad day all about the same topic. Ahhh

SO I found out today that the McDonalds that is basically on our campus.. well Teachers eat free when they take their class. Now this is a good/bad thing. I love the grilled chicken sandwich, but the problem is I LOVE the grilled chicken sandwich. How on earth am I supposed to loose weight and live on a budget when I am turning down free food. Seriously? Seriously?!?!

Love me some Red Box!!!!!

I love RedBox! I can honestly say that I think I am in love with this tiny obscure little vending machine. Not because movie rentals are cheap (more on that), not because it is conveniently located all over and I can pickup/return anywhere I please, no it is because it has opened my life to obscure, insignificant movies I would have never have seen, never even known about, or acknowledged. Ok so cheap it is, I get FREE codes every Monday as a text message and what is better than free, and yes it is very convenient. Ok so maybe I love it for all these reasons. If you know me, you know I don't have TV. I see no reason to pay for what I can get online for free, so I miss all the movie previews and commercials. I have also not been to a movie since I moved to the P.L. so 9 months now with no theater trips... sad, but honestly my life is not laking in the least. Some of the movies I have rented and watched from the comfort of my own house, my own couch. all by myself curled up with Pixie are: Rachel getting married, Miracle at Santa Anna, The boy int he stripped pajamas, W, nights in rodathane, brideshead revisted, and cake eaters. Now of course I have seen the blockbusters as well, marly and me, Twilight, madagascar 2, ya know the important ones! haha but seriously I think that for every blockbuster, recognized movie ( to me this is any movie I have heard of before I get to the redbox) I have probably seen 3 to 4 random, often lower budget movies that I have come to love. So thank you Red Box! Thank you for enlightening me, entertaining me, and making all this possible. And to all the struggling film directors, if you have a dream chase it, live it, share it, Someone out there like me will love it!

Weekend experiences

What a relaxing weekend! Saturday I did absolutely nada except some laundry and light picking up around the house! It was the perfect way to end such a trying week. Spent some time in the word just feeling God's love, and man! was that so needed. Watched Charles in Charge online... hilarious but so mindless it was perfect. Yesterday went to church and felt some more of God's love... and was reminded that He loves us inspite of ourselves and that we ought love others exactly the same way. Humm good reminder! After church my girls and I went to lunch and had great friend time and great conversation. Oh how I cherish girl time. I went for a run late yesterday evening... after searching to no avail for my IPOD which I was distraught about. I however realized, on my run, that when I have my music on I often get lost in my own little world not really taking in whats going on around me. I am so thankful I didn't have my ipod last night. I enjoyed the bay, hearing the waves and birds, amazing. Experiencing all the life in my neighborhood, families playing ball outside in the yards, little kids running around playing in the street, BBQ's with friends... crazy! I often think of my neighborhood being pretty ghetto, but last night I realized that while the houses are crappy, and there are some not so great people for the most part my neighborhood is a place where people feel comfortable being themselves and letting their children just be kids. I am so thankful for my experience last night... now if I could just find my Ipod. I mean how else do I keep track of my mileage. Ugh!