lazy no more!

proverbs 12:27 “A lazy life is an empty life, but “early to rise: gets the job done. “

Since breaking my ankle, I have felt quite lazy. Unable to do what I have felt I was to do, I allowed myself to not be diligent in anything. I could no longer build houses, play soccer, walk around and visit anyone...I was feeling so sorry for myself that although people told me to use this injury as a reason to spend even more time with God to seek Him through the depression and frustration I was feeling, it was the last thing I wanted to do. I was so angry that God was the last one I wanted to consult. I attempted to read both the Word and Crazy Love, but they just caused me to be frustrated more. I began to question all things, and felt much like I was a disappointment because I was lazy and because I was so clumsy to cause this to happen in the first place. I have come to realize that it was God trying to reach out to me. God using my clumsiness to His advantage to get my attention. Thanks to this verse, while it initially made me feel worse, after a few days, I now realize that lazy not only refers to physical actions, but to all tasks in our lives. I was neglecting my duty to God to learn all I could of Him and lazy about seeking my relationship with Him and my life became very empty of all joy.

I now pray for peace and a yearning to cast off my laziness and work hard at the task that I am presented with in order to fulfill God's purpose for me and my life.

This is the house we were building when I broke my ankle. If you look at the left side at the back corner of the house, you will see a part of the hole that caused my fate. :)

stupid ankle

This past week has been the hardest for me in a very long time. I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, and the first week was not too bad with a group of 12-14 y/o but this week we have had a team of very hard working men and I have felt useless, and a burden, all while being very lonely.

I love being here, and have enjoyed the fact that I have gotten to know some of the staff so much better, but I spend so much time alone frustrated because I can't work. I on top of this feel that it annoys everyone else that they are working so hard and I am doing hardly anything... and I have to rely on their help to get even the simplest things done. I HATE IT!!! I appreciate all of their help so much, but I hate that they have to take time out of their day, and their activities to accommodate me.

I also have just felt alone quite often, they are out working, and I know everyone else is spending their days together, thus offering them things to talk about, but it also leaves me no one to talk to even when they are all around me. Feeling alone among a room full of people is so so so much harder than feeling alone actually alone.

I am trying hard to hear from God through this, and learn from the situation, but I am afraid that my feelings are working against me even still. I trust Him, and know that He has a reason, but I can't help but feel it is punishment more than an avenue for His plan, and I just don't know what to do with this. I just want to scream!!! I want so hard to be positive and happy despite my ankle, but I just don't know how!

day 1 of team work

So today was a lot of fun. It actually didn't rain at all today.. Thanks, Agatha, for the reprieve. We went to the comedor where they give little kids with no food at home food, and work with them on school things. We taught a VBS to these adorable little kids about teamwork and helping out your friends. I was in charge of games, but I thought I would have older kids so the games I planned for were not really possible, but we had a lot of fun playing Simon says, passing a soccer ball, and duck duck goose.

Afterwards the other interns and I as well as part of the team here went to the park in town and played soccer... we tried to get some of the locals to play with us, but they looked us like we were the loca gringos and declined our offer. In fact the only local to come around our big group was the crazy old townie guy who walks around with a cup asking for things... fun thing is he like so many others here always had a smile on his face and was not bothered at all by his circumstances, just happy to be able to do what he does. I love the happy hears of the people here!

side note... i'm going to try to add pictures to this post, but I can't upload things except between 2-5 am so until I get to an internet cafe it'll have to wait.

Rain... teams... learning

Rain! Rain! Go away, come again... wait no don't! It has rained every day since I got here, and i'm not talking a little rain in the afternoon... i'm talking torrential downpours. There is appartntly a tropical depression brewing and stiring over Honduras... roads are closed, busses are getting stuck, airports, schools businesses all closed due to flooding and mudslides. We had a team come in yesterday and on their way to the farm they got stuck in the mud, slid down the "road" and finally got here way late. Their plans for going into the mountains were trashed, and the plan is now to do eye exams at the local schools around Yamaranguila, since we currently can't really get any where else.



We had youth group today after doing eye exams here at the farm for the students and it was amazing! I love that even when music is in spanish, I still am able to worship. And when the message is geared toward students, that I got so much out of it. I love that God knows each hair on my head, He knows His plans, and all I have to do is listen and obey. Such a good reminder, and it just confirmes to me that this is where He wants me and He will make it all happen.



I just love God!!!

first few days

So my first few days here in Yamaranguila have been mostly uneventful and pretty low key. I'm lovign the people of course, and I am so ready for my sweet Belky, Flor, and everyone else to get to the farm!!! We have teams scheduled to be here every day all summer except 2 so it will be very interesting and fun! Pictures to come:) Miss everyone!

Okay, so today while reading my usual bloggie friends blogs, I came across this post http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/2010/05/the-twilight-saga/ on Shannon Ethridge's blog... and this sentence is what stuck out to me...

Here’s the thing ladies–God made us to respond to passion. To wooing. To desire. He created us, as women, to physically and emotionally respond when pursued. And that, is to be celebrated.
this had these verses following...

“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love. With loving-kindness I have pursued you…” (Jeremiah 31:3)

“How precious are Your thoughts towards me, O God. How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand on the shore…” (Psalm 139: 17 & 18)

“Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away with Me…” (Song of Solomon 2:13)

So, here's why this stuck out to me... What about those women like myself, that passion does not drive? In my life, when I am pursued by guys with any more than fleeting intent I get annoyed and turned off. I'm not a chaser, I just don't like being hounded, no matter how sweetly, politely, good intentioned it is... so how does one go about enjoying and accepting pursuit???

Hondo Ticket Bought!

Yesterday was a big day for me, I (finally) bought my plane ticket for Honduras for the summer. This is the beautiful place I'll be spending my summer.. jealousy is allowed. :)


Spending lots of money at once always stirrs my emotions, tugs at the frugal side of my brain, and just makes me nervous. I will never understand how I can make 5 gazillion little purchases back to back and not bat and eye, but when it comes down to investments, my stomach turns to one big knot with my head telling me that I don't need it... Shouldn't it be the other way around? I am sure that I don't need 99.99% of the little purchases I make, but when are investments a bad thing???

Okay, back to the post (please bear with my ADHD this morning) So, I bought my ticket. I couldn't be more excited about going, and each day only brings more excitement. I am ready to do the Lord's work, ready to live my life guided by Him and not my yucky boss. I am sad to have to leave my sweet Pixie for 3 months, and nervous about coming back and having to move and start a new job. The nervousness and next job deserve their own post coming soon. it's funny how one little click of a button causes all these emotions in my heart and I only hope that the giddiness and joy from God allowing me this opportunity overcome all the negative I am sure to face in the next month.