This past week has been the hardest for me in a very long time. I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, and the first week was not too bad with a group of 12-14 y/o but this week we have had a team of very hard working men and I have felt useless, and a burden, all while being very lonely.
I love being here, and have enjoyed the fact that I have gotten to know some of the staff so much better, but I spend so much time alone frustrated because I can't work. I on top of this feel that it annoys everyone else that they are working so hard and I am doing hardly anything... and I have to rely on their help to get even the simplest things done. I HATE IT!!! I appreciate all of their help so much, but I hate that they have to take time out of their day, and their activities to accommodate me.
I also have just felt alone quite often, they are out working, and I know everyone else is spending their days together, thus offering them things to talk about, but it also leaves me no one to talk to even when they are all around me. Feeling alone among a room full of people is so so so much harder than feeling alone actually alone.
I am trying hard to hear from God through this, and learn from the situation, but I am afraid that my feelings are working against me even still. I trust Him, and know that He has a reason, but I can't help but feel it is punishment more than an avenue for His plan, and I just don't know what to do with this. I just want to scream!!! I want so hard to be positive and happy despite my ankle, but I just don't know how!
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