Confidence

So at least once a week my confidence is shaken. I have been trained to exude confidence no matter the situation, no matter the circumstances, I am to remain confident, calm, collected. I am not supposed to cave under pressure, I am not to let outside distractions shake me... well, I do! I constantly feel the laser beams of parent's eyes on my every move. I worry all the time that I am letting someone down, that I am a disappointment, that I am not doing things up to someone else's standards. I let other people's opinions of who I am, how I do things, even what I am doing to a point determine how/what I perform.
I imagine that in the old testament the Jews constantly felt the same pressure from God. Was what they were doing pleasing to God, are they doing it right, what if they mess up... will they burn in hell forever??? I know, since I have days now where I want to hide in a cave, if I were living in those times that I would seriously be afraid to do or say anything... but that would also be wrong. Seriously I would probably have been committed! Did they have padded rooms back then, padded caves maybe... I think there are days I would be better off now if I were in a straight jacket with my mouth taped shut, but then I thank God for loving me enough that he sent his Son to forgive me and wash away my sins. God broke down the barrier between Him and us, giving us a direct line to him. He opinions are the only ones who truly matters, and if we mess up we should be confident that he will forgive us. Paul tells us in Ephesians 3 that

¹²In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

I am so glad to have a father that loves us so much that no matter what he loves us and forgives us when are wrong. We can go to him with CONFIDENCE and FREEDOM... no matter the situation. No hiding in the background, no worry about 'am I saying this right' no 'what if i do the wrong thing' no fear of being pushed out, stepped over, fired, chastised, complained about to superiors... He is the "SUPERIOR" and he has given and commanded that we bring it to him no matter what! Maybe, just maybe, I won't be needing that straight jacket after all.