The "better"

A very good friend of mine has a saying she learned from her mother... "you are never going to arrive so live your life" She reminded me of this in her own blog yesterday, and it is something I have been thinking of ever since. See in my own life, I have this problem. I am never satisfied. I always want something more, something better, to make myself better. Now this does not mean always physical things... in fact more often than not, it is emotional, mental, and spiritually that I strive for this "more." I believe this to come from my childhood, where nothing was good enough. Everything could be done better, and any attempt made could have had more effort put into it. Now I am not blaming my childhood for making my life difficult, in fact I cherish that I have ambition and determination because of this childhood lesson. The problem is that when I reach a point in my life that many would view as accomplished, and cherish reaching this point I am not satisfied. I do not feel it is where I need to be, it is not my place. This is fine, God has us forever learning and growing and that I love. The problem lies in that I wonder if I will ever be satisfied with anything I am given. I have a hard time appreciating what I have because of this "better" and that frightens me. Will I ever meet my husband, or will I pass him by because of this "better" will I ever reach a point in my career where I am pleased with what I have done? or will this "better" continue to push me. This push would be great if I knew how to channel the "better" to where I am... but this is just not the case.... and I have no idea why, but to think that God has something better in mind for me. It is interesting that when things don't work out, that is a statement of hope often mentioned. When an engagement is broken, when a job is lost etc. Well I am staying positive because God has something better for me... so why do I look down on it?